The Defiant One

If it wasn't so painful it would almost be amusing.

I have found that whenever my mother has relatives staying with her, she becomes defiant (or perhaps cocky is the better word). She will call and make demands. She will ignore my comments or make smart comments when I say something or give advice. As an example, I mentioned she should be careful that it was too hot for her (and her brother) to be outside. Her response, "We're adults and we can do what we want."

My mother doesn't typically make these remarks when it is just me and her, but bring a few relatives or a friend into town and it's like a whole different personality erupts. A mean one and not one that I generally want to be around.

Anyway, yesterday she called and wanted to know when I was cutting the grass at her house. I told her that it would be Friday. Normally, this would be okay --- but since the brother is there, this was not okay and I got a "well, you better do it or we are going to do it ourselves..."

Since I would actually be getting OUT of the job --- this sounds like a good thing, but it would involve my uncle riding my Dad's lawn mower and I know in my heart my Dad would not like this. Last year, he hated the fact that he could no longer get outside and mow the grass himself. He didn't really want me riding around on his (almost new) John Deere lawnmower, but he let me. I just don't feel that he would appreciate my uncle doing it. And so...I guess I'm making more work for myself, but I know Dad would be nodding his approval.

Alert the media - my mother is on the road!

For the past couple of weeks my mother and I have been going
round and round about her driving. Or rather....her ability to drive or if she needs to be driving.

In truth, she hasn't driven by herself more than about three or four times in five years and probably hasn't driven more than 10 times total in the past three years.

My Dad kind of put a halt to her driving after she had two incidents in about two weeks. The first time, she put the car into drive instead of reverse and went over one of those cement things that keep drivers from hitting buildings (luckily, she didn't hit the building).

The second time, she got too close to a railroad crossing and the wooden arm came down right on top of the hood.

Dad didn't let her drive very much after that and NEVER by herself.

A few days after he died, however, she asked for the car keys (I had his set) and said that she wanted them. A discussion ensued and she very defiantly told me that she would be driving and no one was going to stop her.

My aunt is staying with her at the moment. I was able to end this discussion by convincing my mother to let my aunt drive instead. So, my aunt has been driving and my mother has been giving her direction. The plan being....that we could see how much my mother remembered about where everything once. So far...they have only gotten lost once...but...it was on the way to church...which is a place she claims that she knows the way to by heart.

Anyway, yesterday, at the VA service center, the man that was helping us asked my mother if she drove. My mother, never one to make a story short, then went into this long explanation that she COULD drive and she was GOING to drive, but hadn't been because her husband wouldn't let her.

The poor man, of course, was just asking this question because as a widow of a veteran, she can get a free drivers license the next time she needs to renew it.

This led to another discussion (once outside and out of earshot) about her driving. I finally told her that we would ask her doctor about her driving at the her next appointment.

This gives me....about two more weeks.... :-O