It's hard to believe Dad passed away a month ago this Friday.
The week it happened, time stood still. The days slowed and each one was more painful than the next. There were plans to be made, people to be notified, and relatives flying in. Strangely, each day seemed to have more hours in it than just the normal 24. The nights were rough and extra long with little or no sleep.
The days since have moved quickly. I was surprised to realize we were already approaching that one month anniversary. How is that even possible?
I don't think things will ever be "normal" again, but life is going on and we are moving in a forward direction. However, there is a part of me that keeps wishing for a way to time travel. I yearn for a way to return to a day when my life was happy and things seemed more carefree.
Meanwhile, my mother is settling down some. I'm not sure how long this will last. She remains confused about some things and her words to me have damaged our relationship, but she needs me and I suppose deep down I accept that I probably need her too.
Where we are going from here --- I have no clue. There is still a lot of stuff to be done and as Easter came and went, I realized that there will be a first "Father's Day Without Dad," a first "4th of July Without Dad," and so on....
For now....it's just one day at a time and muddling through each one as it comes.
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